Tuesday, March 4, 2014

Daddy Comes First

***I will add this disclaimer for my sweet single-mama friends.  Feel free to skip this one.  I realize how it won't make much sense for you.

I read a blog entry recently that several of my friends had linked on Facebook.  It was super encouraging for moms and I loved reading (most of) it.  However, there was one line that stuck out like a sore thumb.
"Mommy means my husband and I haven’t had a real conversation in weeks."
Women, that is NOT what 'mommy' should mean.

I'm not writing this to be hateful toward the writer, she has encouraged many women and I am grateful for that.  I remember.  I remember how tiring, draining, exhausting being a mom is...I'm still there!!!

However, I think it's important to remember where our priorities should lie. 
For me, they are in this order:
  1. God
  2. Husband
  3. Kids
Mommy does not mean we neglect our husbands.  It is not ok with me.  It's easy to get caught up in thinking that once we become a mom, that is our new identity and ONLY identity. 

You are still you outside of having kids.

Kids should be a part of your life--not your life. Your kids should be a high priority in your life, but not your top priority.  I know this goes against a lot of what we hear, but I'm serious.

Invite your kids into your life, don't allow them to take it over. 
Don't let your marriage take a backseat to your kids.

Put the baby down when your spouse gets home from work.  Talk to each other.  Spend time with each other.  Love each other.  Your small children won't resent you for it and later in life they will admire watching your strong marriage get even stronger.

1 comment:

  1. Couldn't agree more! Our pastor just finished a marriage series and he spent a whole week on this very topic. God is your number one, your husband/wife is your number two, and your family is number three. After that you can choose what comes next. I personally feel this is why so many marriages end in divorce in our culture. As a culture we put everything into our children and we forget that other relationships are just as important and some are even more important. I know I don't have kids yet, and I know that this will be a huge temptation when I do have children, but I hope that I can work everyday to keep my priorities in the right order. :) Thanks for writing on this topic!